… Thats right… PART TWO!
Article 51: A Minion will make the sacred journey to the holy fields of Wacken at least once in his or her life.
Article 52: Do not ask Spijk complicated questions about the way the universe works. You are on a need-to-know basis.
Article 53: When Spijk says: “Hey, let’s order a pizza”, he’s not really asking. He is telling you to pick up the damn phone and order a fucking pizza! And remember, a pizza is no place for fruits and vegetables.
Article 54: If you lend something to Spijk you shall never expect to get it back.
Article 55: BEWLACHEWLIJK
Article 56: A minion supports every conspiracy theory. They’re probably all true.
Article 57: The maximum allowed time of not seeing Spijk is 10 days. If you haven’t seen Spijk in 10 days or more, you’re not a good minion. You should already start missing him the minute he leaves the room.
Article 58: It is a minions duty to recrute more minions. Preferably hot, female ones.
Article 59: A minion shall never engage in and always defy the 4 main sins of Spijkonism:
- Sobriety
- Veganism
- Driving according to speed limits
- Corner Camping
Article 60: Minions have the right to be judge, jury and executioner when they see any of these sins being practiced. The usual punishment is a fine that has to be paid in blood. But you can be creative.
Article 61: Get drunk on the approved holidays of Spijkonism
Article 62: A minion does not have to know every one of these blogs word by word. You just need to find them awesome. The one minion that does know every detail of every blog is head of the minion council however. Just saying…
Article 63: A minion is above the law
Article 64: A minion has read:
- All of Spijks blogs
- The Bro Code
- The Divine Comedy
Article 65: A minion has seen:
- V for Vendetta
- All six Star Wars movies
- All Family Guy episodes
- All South Park episodes
Article 66:
A minion has played:
- The Resident Evil series
- The Half-Life series
- The Halo series
- The Bioshock series
- Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare 2
- The Assassins Creed series
Article 67: A minion will discuss the awesomeness of everything mentioned in the previous 3 articles with Spijk on a regular basis.
Article 68: Never judge your fellow-minion. This is Spijks job.
Article 69: Duh
Article 70: Knallen met je kadaver!
Article 71: A minion will NEVER steal Spijk’s kill. (This can both refer to games and women).
Article 72: A minion has long hair, or wishes he had.
Article 73: A minion is a true metalhead. And in order to be a true metalhead you must get your skull stapled. Spijk did.
Article 74: When Spijk tells you to stand up and walk. He just wants his seat back.
Article 75: Don’t ever take Spijk shopping unless this means visiting every game and record store. Spijk hates shopping more than being sober. Can you imagine what it would be like to go shopping with a sober Spijk? It will be bloody…
Article 76: A good minion plays co-op shooters with Spijk. In spite of him having to do all the work anyway.
Article 77: A minion hates bands like Volbeat, Slipknot, Hollywood Undead, Nightwish and Evanescence. They might appear to be metal… BUT THEY’RE NOT!
Article 78: A minion will start destroying de Wurft whenever they play ‘that’ song (you know which one I’m talking about). Then we shall go to Lazaru’s untill de Wurft is rebuilt.
Article 79: A minion is a dog-person. Dogs > Cats.
Article 80: TACHTIG!
Article 81: A good minion also smokes weed ocassionally.
Article 82: A minion has experienced circle pits and walls of death.
Article 83: 1983 was the year the best album ever was released. You must be able to name that album and all of it’s tracks.
Article 84: Classic Rock might not be Heavy Metal. But it’s still awesome!
Article 85: Spijk’s band is awesome. Visit their gigs.
Article 86: Headbang like it’s 1986 on a regular basis.
Article 87: Don’t ask Spijk why. You know he’ll just answer: “Gewoon, omdat het kan”.
Article 88: If you come up with a good subject for a blog. Share it with Spijk.
Article 89: Pirates are way cooler than ninjas.
Article 90: Spijk loves to sleep in. When he has a day off, do not call him before noon.
Article 91: When Spijk’s XBox has a red ring of death, it is your job to replace it.
Article 92: When Spijk’s controllerbatteries are empty, it is your job to replace them.
Article 93: On the 9th of June (and every other election) vote for Spijk. Or cause mayhem at the voting bureau for not being able to.
Article 94: Calling 911 (or 112) is bullshit. You’re better off calling Spijk instead.
Article 95: When a minion dies, Spijk is in his or her will.
Article 96: Making donations to Spijkonism is not obligatory, but very welcome. Just like every other religion, Spijk is after your money as well.
Article 97: Don’t tell Spijk how to do his job.
Article 98: When meeting with Spijk, bringing a sixpack of Hertog-Jan is always a good idea.
Article 99: Male minions do not wear pink. Good male minions wear bandshirts.
Note: Bandshirts of cool bands!
Article 100: Disobedience of this code is punishable by death. Slow, bloody, painful death!
Hugs and kisses,
Spijk …

[bron]

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